Finding Your Way Back to Yourself

What it means to feel good inside your own life.

I’ve always wished Happy Juice had a different name.

Not because of the word happy. It’s the juice part that gets me. It makes something that has meant so much to me sound a little trivial.

But I’m not in charge of Amare marketing, so Happy Juice it is. Ha.

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about the other half of that name. Happy. Maybe happy gets dismissed too easily too.

I don’t mean walking around grinning all the time or pretending life doesn't come with stress or challenges. I don’t mean forcing a positive attitude through grief, when you’re hurting or life is changing in wild ways you could have never anticipated.

I mean really finding your way back to yourself -- feeling good inside your own life. Laughing. Wanting to go somewhere. Looking forward to something. Having patience for the people you love. Enjoying dinner without wondering what your stomach is going to do later. Feeling resilient and like yourself.

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There was a time when I didn’t.

I was miserable. My IBS was horrible. I felt lost, and if I’m being truthful, I think my heart had pretty much shut down for a while too. I was functioning, but functioning and feeling well are two very different things.

That’s a part of my story I really haven’t written about enough.

It’s also a big part of why Amare being a mental wellness company mattered so much to me in the beginning. Before I knew much about the gut-brain axis or cortisol or stress or all the things I talk about with you guys now, I just knew I didn’t feel like myself anymore.

And as I started feeling calmer and more like myself again, something else happened too. I started recognizing where I needed boundaries to not go backwards -- to move through life happy and centered. I started believing I was allowed to have them -- accept I needed them. And probably most importantly, I started respecting the boundaries I had created for myself instead of feeling guilty every time I held one.

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That has not always been easy.

There have been times when holding a boundary has meant loss. There have been relationships that changed. There have been moments when I questioned myself and wondered if keeping the peace would have been easier.

Sometimes it would have been. But easier isn’t always better.

And I think part of mental wellness is having enough self-awareness to recognize what you need, enough self-respect to say it, and enough courage to live with what may change because of it.

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One of the things I remember most from those early "Happy Juice" days is my husband noticing that I was laughing again. That may not sound like some huge measurable wellness milestone, but it was huge to me because I hadn’t realized how much of me had gone quiet. How burned out I'd become.

So I’ve been thinking about why I’m still so committed to Amare, why mental wellness matters so much to me, and why maybe happy deserves more credit than we give it.

Not fake happy. Not perfect happy. And definitely not a life where nothing hard ever happens.

For me, finding happy has also meant finding my voice again. Knowing where my limits are. Respecting them. Accepting that sometimes there is loss along the way. And realizing that I can still love people without abandoning myself to do it.

Is it a struggle sometimes? Yes.

Is it worth it? Yes.

Because in the end, maybe finding happy isn’t about chasing happiness at all.

Maybe it’s about finding your way back to yourself.

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Until next time —

Nelea R. Lane

a/k/a The Happy Juice Chick Founder The Stress Less Era

Available by Text: 936-209-7222

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This is part of the Letters from the Stress Less Era series, personal recollections from inside a life that got quiet and got loud again.